09 May A Marriage Secret: Is This What You’re Missing?
“There is a critical secret that you must understand to succeed in your marriage,” write marriage experts Terry Hargrave and Shawn Stoever in their practical book, 5 Days to a New Marriage. And guess what? This secret is important for succeeding and flourishing in other areas of your life as well.
Marriage: A Secret Revealed
The secret? “Healthy people consistently recharge themselves emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.” If your battery is depleted in any of these areas, it’s going to show in your marriage and other aspects of your life.
Marriage: Take This Simple Test and Rate Yourself
So, how do you know if your battery is subpar? Rate yourself as an individual in each of the following categories on a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 meaning you’re doing great:
Mentally – I feed my mind positive messages and images, reading, learning, meditating, having stimulating conversations, focusing my mind on whatever is true, and health–giving.
Physically – I eat healthy, exercising daily, sleeping at least eight hours per day, drinking plenty of water, being adventurous, staying aware of my energy levels.
Spiritually – I talk to God, listening to Him, spending time with spiritually stimulating people, reading for my spiritual enrichment.
Emotionally – I pay attention to my feelings, having healthy friendships, guarding my heart, having a healthy expression of emotions, fully engaging myself in activities.
(Based on 5 Days to a New Marriage, Hargrave and Stoever)
If you find yourself rating below a 7 in the categories above, then is it any wonder you don’t have energy to overflow into your marriage? With inadequate energy to get you through the day, and with all the other demands on your time and schedule, what is left over for your spouse? If your scores are low, how can you expect to have loving interactions with your spouse at the end of a long day? And how can you expect a thriving life in general?
Marriage: Take Care of Yourself to Take Care of Your Marriage
Now, look at each of the categories above, and think of one thing you could do that will recharge you in that area. Yes, it’s going to take time and reprioritizing to recharge herself, but isn’t it worth it to improve your marriage and quality of life? Who wants to continue tiredly slugging along when you can revitalize and even flourish?! So write the following sentence on a few stickup notes, put them around your house, and make daily choices to start recharging:
Healthy people consistently recharge themselves emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.