Playfulness: How Are You Doing?

Are you having enough fun? When was the last time you had a solid hour of sheer enjoyment? When you were so absorbed in moments of merriment, you forgot about everything else?

The grown-up world is all about getting things done. Mark Buchanan says, “Past a certain age our existence is consumed by obligation. Deadlines loom. Assignments are due. Responsibilities are mountainous. Chores are piling up. There’s a list, always, of things to do … So one of the first things to die in adults is playfulness. We are, as a tribe, a grim bunch …”

With our work, families, and home responsibilities, it’s so easy to go through weeks, months, even years without healthful helpings of playfulness.

And did you know that it’s actually bad for you–physically and emotionally– to eliminate fun and play from your regular routine?

Playfulness: It’s Not Just a Fun Idea

For our bodies and minds to stay healthy and at their best, we thrive on the biochemicals that are released when we are involved in pleasure: endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, oh my!

So for those of you who are goal-driven and productivity-oriented, you can achieve far more when your body is fueled by these biochemicals, released during fun!

But apart from all that, wouldn’t you just enjoy having more playfulness in your life?

So why not make this a priority starting today?

Playfulness: Some Grown-Up Playful Ideas

Kids know how to play without ever being taught. But for grown-ups, this ability can slowly fade into nothingness somewhere along the way. However, once you’ve started tasting it again in significant doses, your natural ability kicks back in. Then it starts overflowing into the goings-on of your daily life. Here are some ideas to jumpstart you:

1. Choose playful ideas for your exercise options: get involved in a sport that’s truly fun for you, add enjoyable outdoors activities to your exercise menu, skate, get involved in dance exercise.

2. Take a fun class: art, photography, music, bowling, kite flying… you get the idea!

3. Play games with people. Cards, board games — I’m talking non-electronic. Utilize “Meet-Up” online or as a phone app to find game-playing groups in your area. Or start one and invite your circles.

4. Dance: around your house when no one’s looking, or out with your spouse or friends. It’s a known dopamine – booster.

5. If you have a pet, play with him more often: in the house, out on walks, even swimming!

6. Take an improv class! The theme and goal of these classes is playfulness! And yes, this is my own personal choice. Super  fun!

7. Click on the following links to give you more ideas: fun, more fun, even more fun!

Playfulness: Famous Words

And as you’re incorporating more playfulness into your life, remember the motto of my Australian friend, a contagiously happy person:

Too much fun is just barely enough!

It’s been a few weeks since the big hoax was revealed: Manti Te’o's girlfriend — the one who died within hours of his grandmother’s death, one who Te’o spoke of repeatedly, the one whose story became part of his Heisman campaign–never existed. This successful young college football player was apparently completely deceived over a significant period of time. We think: “That could never happened to me.” But the truth is, we are all susceptible to being duped. From the most intelligent to the least, we see examples of this in practical, emotional, and spiritual ways. There was a time when no one believed in germs and people laughed when someone suggested that the earth was round. Very intelligent, successful people have been tricked out of thousands of dollars by successful deceivers. So how can we prevent being victims in matters of money, relationships, beliefs, and more?

Manti Te’o: Let His Mistake Propel You to Use 5 Tips …

1. Pay attention to that little inner voice telling you something is wrong. Many people who are tricked say that, at first, they had doubts they didn’t listen to. There was an inner uneasiness, a feeling that something wasn’t quite right. When you feel bad about a person, situation, idea, or event — don’t ignore it. Investigate it further with your logical mind, and…

2. Get by “with a little help from your friends.” When you’re not sure of something, ask trusted people their opinions. Don’t simply ask people who will agree with you. One time, I came close to signing a book contract with an agent that seemed sketchy. I e-mailed a well-known, trustworthy, editor, whom I didn’t even know. She kindly replied with her inside knowledge about this person, discouraging me to sign with him. I’m so glad I listened to my inner voice and ask for help! “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory.” (Proverbs 11:14)

3. The Internet: be on your guard! Many modern-day scams are perpetrated through the Internet. People buy items that they later find out don’t exist. People enter relationships with people who are actually very different than what they seem. People give money to seemingly trustworthy causes, only to find out they were duped. Check things out thoroughly.

4. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Enough said.

5. Don’t be overly confident, saying, “It couldn’t happen to me.” Deception happens to intelligent, competent people. Use points 1 and 2 above when in doubt. Also utilize trustworthy resources, from the Better Business Bureau to the Bible. Find experts in the field of your questioning and utilize their wisdom.

Manti Te’o: How Good Can Come from Bad

One way Manti’s difficulty can result in good is if others learn from his mistake. Failure is an opportunity to do something different the next time, for him as well as us. And don’t be self-deceived…deception can happen to even you. “Be wise as serpents, innocent as doves.” What tips have you learned to avoid being deceived?

A.  Hurried

B. Busy

C. Stressed out

D. All of the above

If you’ve felt any of these this past week, then this article is for you. The holiday season is a time many things can make us go a little crazy inside…or a lot.

In my last article, we talked about coping methods we’ve learned from our families growing up which can be less-than-helpful. So today, here’s a list of methods for dealing with stress that can enhance your peace and health. I encourage you to pick out at least three to try this week and then keep them going throughout your holiday season:

Stress-Lessening Activities

1. Savor your warm shower or bath. Really focus on letting your muscles release tension during this opportunity that’s already in your schedule.

2. Eliminate and concentrate: Look for ways to cut out nonessentials from your life. Examples: Choose giftwrap bags for some gifts instead of wrapping them with paper and tape. Clean your house “good enough” rather than to perfection.

3. Social Support. Talk to a supportive friend when you are going through something disheartening or difficult. Call a good friend, even if they live in another state.

4. Relaxation Exercises. When you’re stressed-out, use a relaxation exercise, such as deep, slow, rhythmic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.

5. Smile and laugh: Intentionally do this as often as appropriate throughout your day. Research shows that simply smiling more can make you happier. Wear a special ring, bracelet, or watch as a visual reminder. (It’s easy to forget when we’re stressful.)

6. Click on each of the following words to find other ideas that will bring more  joy, replenishment, and relaxing fun into your holidays: joy, replenish, fun.

Stress Free Living

Guess what? The good news is that you can incorporate all of the above into the rest of your life, not just the holidays. So use this holiday opportunity as a springboard to begin new habits that will enhance the rest of your life. Make 2013 a better year!

Looking for ways to add more joy to your week? Here’s a sneaky pattern of life that you might miss if you don’t look for it: when one door closes in your life, very often a new door will open as a result.

It’s a normal part of life to experience closed doors: you receive disappointing news, a relationship ends, you lose a job, an opportunity is denied, you have to make a geographical move. Like a magnet, a disappointing event can pull your attention to dwell on the negative aspects of these situations, and your  joy level will be depleted.

Joy By Noticing Newly-Opened Doors

But if you think about it, you will notice that closed doors often result in new doors that wouldn’t have opened otherwise. Without conscious attention, we often don’t realize that without the closed door, the next opened door wouldn’t have arrived.  For example, you receive disappointing news that your child received another F in math. As a result, you talk to your child’s teacher and enroll her in an afterschool math program, and in a few months, her grade drastically improves. On top of that, she makes a new friend in the afterschool program. And there are other examples: a job loss eventually means a new career is found; a relational difficulty means that new relationships form, or life lessons are learned; a health difficultly results in healthier lifestyle choices or a new life direction.

Try This & Experience Your Joy Level Rising…

So throughout today and tomorrow, reflect back through your life to look for this closed door/open door pattern, and notice this as it happens in your current activities.  To get your brain going, think of 2 events from your past where you can find this pattern: changes, disappointments, health issues, dreams denied, relationship struggles, etc. Also, when something happens that is disappointing this week, notice if it provides an opportunity for something good to follow: maybe you have to wait in line, but you get to talk someone else who is waiting; they’re out of your favorite pastry at your coffee place, but you get to try something new instead; you get some frustrating news, but it enables you to bond with someone as you tell them about it. Then watch as your joy level increases.

When you look behind a dark cloud, you’ll often become aware of, not only a silver lining, but a promising new horizon as well.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Patsy Clairmont has noticed it in this way: “It’s not that God has said no to your dream, it’s that he’s said yes to another dream for you.”

You have something you really want to do, but it seems impossible.

Stop for a minute and think… What is that thing that you really want?

• Is it a personal dream that you long to fulfill?
• Is it losing a significant amount of weight?
• Is it resolving difficult marriage problems?
• Is it significantly improving a health issue that hinders you?

10 years ago, what I wanted most was to be able to walk more than 17 steps. With my fibromyalgia, my health had deteriorated so severely that I was in a wheelchair and could barely manage 17 steps at a time.

How did I get to where I am now, exercising 1 hour daily, and living a completely normal life?

By slowly adding 1 step at a time…literally. Each day, I would walk in my house, counting my steps, and adding one step daily, from 17, to 18, to 19, until now, where I can take thousands of steps each day! And that is how you will climb your mountain… by starting with one step at a time, and not giving up.

So what is your next small step? Close your eyes for a minute, and answer that question. You probably know the answer, but for whatever reason, you are not doing it.

So just do it! (And maybe ask a buddy or two for encouragement and support.)

Now, I will say that, as I was taking one step at a time, I slowly but surely also added other steps that enhanced my overall health. Many things that we want will need a multifaceted approach. But the principle is the same: take one small step in each aspect at a time. Don’t let the magnitude of the mountain prevent you from taking each small step. Because even a literal mountain is only climbed by the climber choosing to take each individual step, and not giving up when difficulties come.

In climbing your mountain, I encourage you to read Break Free, my book that tells how I climbed my mountain step-by-step. It’s designed to coach and cheer you on to climb your mountain. You can find it by clicking on the image of the book on this website.

Patsy Clairmont says, “To take a step is to begin doing our part. God will respond and do His part.”

So start taking steps, then watch what God will do, hand in hand with you. Your reward will be getting that thing that you really want!

Question: What is keeping you from taking that step toward what you really want? What step can you take to eliminate that barrier? I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever been stuck on an island with no way off?

While I’ve never been marooned on an actual physical island, there have been many times when I’ ve felt trapped, unable to change no matter what I tried. Everyone has. Think of an area right now where you really want to see change, but can’t. If you need help, pick from the following list:

• a relationship that won’t change
• a personal pattern you can’t get beyond
• disordered eating
• weight challenges
• disappointment with circumstances
• child-raising problems
• health issues

I’ve been stuck in some way in every area on the above list during some period of my time on this planet. But I’ve also been blessed to find ways to swim away from that island and find transformation. The following are my Top Five  for getting unstuck:

1. Decide to be determined. Decide to fight this thing like a tiger until you see change and growth. You’re probably weary from trying different things that didn’t work. So rally yourself and go back into the ring until you win. One thing that really helps with this is to…

2. Get help. You can’t fight this alone if you want to see change. Whether it’s a friend, a counselor, a support group, or all of these, get ideas and motivation from regular conversations about your area of stuckness. Also…

3. Get rid of what is toxic and add what is healthy. What in your overall life is wearing you down, draining you of energy you need to fight in this arena? Think of things like harmful attitudes, unhealthy perspectives, toxic relationships, unwise media choices, unhealthy foods. Is there a particular toxin robbing you of energy for this area you’re about to tackle? Then, what do you need to add for health and energy in this fight? Things like positive people, nourishing books and media, healthy foods, fun hobbies and activities, exercise, vitamins and minerals, and healthy input. Add what will make you strong for this battle. Next,

4. Try new things. You know the definition of stupidity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We all do that!! So when you’re stuck, seek out new approaches. Do research, talk to others, be open, bold, and brave. Finally, and most importantly,

5. Draw on God’s power and resources. Pray for yourself in your area of need, and enlist others to do so. Find passages that motivate and inform you regarding your desired change target, and think about them regularly.

To get you started, here’s one of my favorites:

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone.” Isaiah 42:16

So take God’s hand, choose one of the 5 points above, and start your journey toward freedom and transformation.

April 16, 2012

If you’re not having enough fun in your life, for the sake of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health… start today! Choose one thing from the list below and do it.

Can you believe that some of us have to be bribed by our health in order to take the time to have fun? Why is it that people have to be convinced to proactively schedule time to do things that actually feel good! Because, for different reasons, many of us have trouble making the time to relax and enjoy. However, when we don’t, it catches up with us: either in our relationships, our job performance, our own depression or anxiety, or in our physical health.

Fun in our lives causes our brains to produce endorphins, dopamine, and other “happiness chemicals” which cause every area of our lives to improve. Now, print a complete list of my 85 fun things to do: take the list below, and add to it my first 60 “Secret Fun List” items on this blog posted on 2/28/2012 and 3/8/2012. You can find them under the “Necessary Life Skills” category.

Post this list on your refrigerator and choose 3 per week, then DO them! Don’t choose an item unless it’s authentically pleasurable for you. I mean, some people truly derive great pleasure from housecleaning or organizing! But if you don’t, there are lots more to choose from.

So if you’re not releasing enough endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin in your brain to keep it happy and healthy, deprive yourself no longer! Start today by adding one item off the following list to your schedule today. Let me know in the comments section below which one you choose! (I think I’ll do item #80.)

61. Collect shells.

62. Go to a spectator sport.

63. Take pictures with your camera or phone.

64. Go fishing.

65. Do some housecleaning or organizing.

66. Read the Bible.

67. Go on a picnic.

68. Play a game.

69. Have lunch with a friend.

70. Think about happy moments in your childhood.

71. Play cards.

72. Look at photos.

73. Do crossword puzzles.

74. Go to a museum.

75. Light candles.

76. Listen to the radio.

77. Tell someone you love them and why.

78. Go horseback riding.

79. Work on a jigsaw puzzle.

80. Give someone a compliment.

81. Practice a relaxation technique.

82. Do a small part of a work project: put photos in an album, clean closet, organize drawers.

83. Learn something new: study an interesting topic on the Internet, in a magazine, or in a book.

84. Go to the gym or an exercise class.

85. Talk to God as you would to a very close friend.

March 28, 2012

“I failed!!” This phrase was shouted often at a class I attended recently.

What was this strange class? Well… If you’ve seen the TV show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”… It was that kind of class. More specifically, it was a class in improvisational theater.

At one time in my life I was intensely involved in the theater scene, and I decided for fun to attend this free class being offered by an improvisational group with a theater right in downtown Austin called The Hideout Theater. With improvisational theater, also known as improv, the actors get on stage and are spontaneously given ideas about content, dialogue, setting, and plot, which they then convey. It’s kind of like being given the ideas for a skit that you are to immediately act out on the spot.

There was a lively group of us that day from various age groups and cultural backgrounds. An important thing the instructor told us from the beginning is that we would mess up and look stupid many times in the process. This was to be expected. When we messed up, we were to happily throw our arms up in the air, take a large dramatic bow, and declare enthusiastically, “I failed!”

Whenever any of us did this, the rest of the group was to immediately break out in wild applause and cheering for the person who had failed, making him feel like the most special and fantastic person on earth.

There were many declarations of failure that day, and it became something you really looked forward to, whether you were the failure or the encouragers. The underlying message that was created in that environment was this: “We’re all going to fail many times so let’s have fun and encourage each other when it happens.”

And another sneaky thing happened that was equally important: each of us tried more and more new and daring things, all the while improving and getting better because we weren’t afraid of failure.

Hmmmm… You’re probably getting the idea of how wonderful it could be if we applied this in our day-to-day life. Because the fact is, we all ARE going to fail many times in life, so why not expect it, laugh about it, and cheer one another on in the process? And how about creating this atmosphere in our home, workplace, and church?

Even…and especially…in our relationship with God.

Because the same sneaky thing will happen as you doing this: you will feel free to try more and more new and daring things, and in the process, you will improve, get better, and grow to new heights because you won’t be afraid to fail and look stupid.

So today, look for opportunities to try new and different things. Along with that, look for opportunities when you, like everyone around you, will fail… or come short of what you’d hoped for. And when you do, throw your hands up in the air, take a low bow, and exclaim exultantly, “I failed!” Then teach those around you to applaud and smile enthusiastically.

And if no one is around, think of God’s warm smile and genuine approval.

Question: What are you wanting to try, but are holding back because of fear of failure?

February 28, 2012

I spent many years of my life juggling way too many balls at once, living on the adrenaline of constant activity and productivity.

That was until my health fell apart over a decade ago and I had to slowly, painstakingly rebuild it. From that process I learned that I had completely depleted my inner reservoir. The doctor said things like “your adrenals are shot,” meaning that I had completely used up my inner emotional and physical resources, partly through this internal drive that kept me always pushing myself.

Since then, I’ve learned to live at a more balanced pace and to actually take time in my week, several times, to intentionally do things that build up my inner reserves. Inevitably, these are things that bring pleasure and relaxation, not a feeling of pushing or forced productivity. And the things I’ve learned about the biochemistry of our brain have encouraged me in this, because dopamine and serotonin are released in our systems when we experience pleasure and relaxation, building up our inward resources.

So what is my secret list? It’s a list of pleasurable and relaxing activities to choose from, kind of like a smorgasbord of delights. I use this list for myself and when helping others. And I’m only giving you 1/3 of the list now… I’ll give you the other 2/3 in the coming weeks. We don’t want to overload your pleasure senses!

Fun Assignment: Read this list, and choose 2 items that you’ll do in the coming week to build up your reservoir. This is just one way of keeping your cup full, so that it can overflow.

P.S. Let me know which ones you choose and why in the comments section below.

1. Soak in the bathtub.

2. Listen to music.

3. Go for a walk.

4. Sing.

5. Play an instrument.

6. Write in your journal.

7. Read: at home, bookstore, library.

8. Bike ride.

9. TV.

10. Movie .

11. Bowling.

12. Conversation.

13. Call a good friend.

14. Go on a beauty hunt.

15. Dance.

16. Have a massage.

17. Recycle old items.

18. Think of three positive things in your life.

19. Sit or lie in the sun.

20. Watch funny videos on YouTube.

21. Read a magazine or newspaper.

22. Hobbies (needle craft, sketching, collecting, model building, etc.)

23. Spend time with a good friend.

24. Think of beautiful scenery you’ve seen.

25. Practice karate, judo, yoga

26. Exercise with an exercise video.

27. Repair things around the house.

28. Work on your car or bicycle.

29. Take care of your plants or garden.

30. Go swimming.

February 20, 2012

“Recurrent negative feelings–those that loop in the same cycles again and again without changing–are unmet knots of our past that got frozen in time for the precise reason that they were not met with kindness or acceptance.” Geneen Roth

On our road to becoming all that God created us to be, we can find ourselves stuck, experiencing worry or anger or sadness, unable to break free. These patterns hinder our spiritual and emotional health, and they can also significantly hinder our physical health.

There was a period when I found myself stuck in just such a pattern, getting my feelings hurt way too easily in various conversations. I tried many things to remedy this, but freedom came when I realized the truth alluded to by Geneen Roth in the quote above. I came to see that times of great emotional reactivity for me were happening because they were echoes of specific early experiences of hurt and rejection, when no one was around to affirm and show kindness.

Equipped with this realization, I began countering my hyper-sensitivity by reminding myself that I was no longer that hurt child, but a deeply loved daughter of the King of the Universe. And I snuggled into thoughts of the current loving relationships he has given me, affirming and kind.

Proverbs enlightens us, “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18) In the face of past wounds and scars from childhood sword thrusts, my own tongue can remind me of God’s truth, bringing spiritual, emotional, and physical healing.

January 30, 2012

Here’s a fun game to play today… Any time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about a person, situation, or anything, immediately state an opposite, positive perspective about it.

For example, if you are discouraged because you make a mistake or fail at something, you might tell yourself, “Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone will make countless mistakes in a lifetime. I’m going to learn from this, leave it behind, and not waste any more energy worrying about it.”

If you have a bad attitude about a co-worker or family member, make yourself think of two of their good qualities …you could even pray good things for them at that moment.

Don’t try to justify your positive thoughts, or think about details of how things will work out…simply retrain your brain to think the positive…to see possibilities rather than problems.

Question: So, is this easy or hard for you, and why? Let me know.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

January 15, 2012

Okay, so we’re in the gloomy time of year. Christmas is past, spring looks far off, statistics say depression is at its highest.

But you don’t have to be a victim!

Every day, a steady stream of good things passes us by, unnoticed and un-savored. If noticed and savored, these moments can be infused with increasing joy, wonder, and appreciation. From sunny weather, to kind, complimentary words, to a friendly email, to flowers along the freeway, to fresh – fallen snow, to a favorite song, to a new spiritual insight, to a job accomplishment…there are numerous opportunities in each day to lift mundane or gloomy existence to radiant new levels.

Today, notice each thing that brings you a spark of joy or a surge of happiness. To make yourself even happier, jot down each thing you notice along the way.

Then, at the end of the day, as you lay your head on the pillow, savor each individual blessing.

“Finally…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

December 15, 2011

Austin, Texas is a city of amazing diversity and ingenuity!

Having just moved here from California six months ago, I’m tremendously enjoying the plethora of variety that can be found here.

At a recent holiday dinner at a local restaurant, my son delighted in ordering the Diamond Back Rattlesnake Cake in a Pistachio Nut Crust Coiled Atop a Spicy Chipotle Cream. Yes, one of the ingredients was an actual rattlesnake. And it was tasty! My other son couldn’t resist ordering the Wild Boar Quesadilla with Goat Cheese, Pickled Onions, Avocado and Pineapple Pico. Yes, the wild boar had been obtained locally. It was delicious!

And armadillos… I actually saw canned armadillo meat for sale amidst various holiday gift offerings at a shop, though I didn’t sample it. But the bodily appearance of these comical creatures testifies to the diversity I’m talking about. Just visualize in your mind’s eye the physical appearance of a rattlesnake, a wild boar, and an armadillo.

When I do this, it draws my heart to worship God…these creatures display God’s amazing mind of variety, creativity, and ingenuity in coming up with such diverse inventions, then making them out of nothing! And these are only three out of his kajillion different creations. On top of that, no two individual creations are ever exactly alike.

At the beginning of this new year, I feel God calling me to return to the “first love” relationship I had with him in the beginning, just as he asked of the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:4 – 5. I long to regain the sweet, simple affection I’ve experienced with him in the past, and the amazing thing is, he longs for that too. One of the ways I fan the flame of my love for him is by contemplating and savoring his specific attributes:

• the fact that he knows everything: is infinitely intelligent
• he’s everywhere: in Texas, China, Saturn, and in me
• he’s good, kind, gentle: how could I not be attracted to him?
• and yes, he is astoundingly creative: from boars, to rattlesnakes, to armadillos

So as I see diversity all around me, this is drawing my heart to the One who created everything and who loves to enjoy it with us. God “richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” (I Timothy 6:17)

And there is much to enjoy on this planet, drawing our hearts to the Mastermind of it all.

November 7, 2011

Have you ever felt as stuck as when an 800 pound boulder fell on Aron Ralston’s arm, trapping him against the canyon wall?

If you don’t know his story, Aron was out hiking alone in Utah in 2003 when this happened, and after trying everything to get unstuck for 4 days, he finally removed his arm with his own knife…the only way he could be set free.

While I’ve never been in that desperate of a situation, I’ve definitely experienced my share of boulder-like entrapment. Everyone has. Think of an area right now where you most want to see change, but which doesn’t seem to budge. If you need help, pick from the following list:

• a relationship that won’t change
• a personal pattern you can’t get beyond
• disordered eating
• weight challenges
• disappointment with circumstances
• child-raising problems
• health issues

I have been stuck in some way in every area on the above list during some period of my time on this planet. But I’ve also been blessed to find ways to see the boulders move and to experience change. The following are my Top Five for getting unstuck:

1. Decide to be determined. Decide to fight this thing like a tiger until you see change and growth. You’re probably weary from trying different things that didn’t work. So rally yourself and go back into the ring until you win. One thing that really helps with this is to…

2. Get help. You can’t fight this alone if you want to see change. Whether it’s a friend, a counselor, a support group, or all of these, get ideas and motivation from regular conversations about your area of stuckness. Also…

3. Get rid of what is toxic and add what is healthy. What in your overall life is wearing you down, draining you of energy you need to fight in this arena? Things like harmful attitudes, unhealthy perspectives, toxic relationships, unwise media choices, unhealthy foods. Is there a particular toxin robbing you of energy for this area you’re about to tackle? Then, what do you need to add for health and energy in this fight? Things like positive people, nourishing books and media, healthy foods, fun hobbies and activities, exercise, vitamins and minerals, and healthy input. Add what will make you strong for moving your boulder. Next,

4. Try new things. You know the definition of stupidity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We all do that!! So when you’re stuck, seek out new approaches. Do research, talk to others, be open, bold, and brave. Finally, and most importantly,

5. Draw on God’s power and resources. Pray for yourself in your area of need, and enlist others to do so. Find Bible passages that motivate and inform you regarding your desired change target, and think about them regularly.

To get you started, here’s one of my favorites:

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone.” Isaiah 42:16

So get started on your boulder with God!

October 17, 2011

I love this picture, of a snail, inching her way along, while other animals galloped, ran, leaped past her. Yet, because she was determined, she took tiny, painstaking steps (slithers?) toward her goal, finally arriving there, not being deterred by the pace or capabilities of others.

How necessary this skill is when we are seeking to progress in majorly difficult areas of life:

• our health
• marriage
• finances
• job goals
• character growth

Think about it right now: what area in your life feels like climbing a steep mountain to ever get where you’d like to be? One of the most important keys is determining to take small, persistent steps, day after day, week after week, month after month, not giving up until you get to your goal.

I remember a time when I lived in New Zealand where I set out on a hike with a group of people who were about 15 years younger than me. After walking for a while in the hot sun, we came to the last section of our hike. To my dismay, the trail ended with a very steep, sandy cliff…it went straight up before us, and looked almost impossible to climb. The others started forward with youthful zeal and fitness, struggling, yet making their way slowly, clawing with their hands and feet.

I literally thought it might be impossible for me to make it to the top, but there was no other option but to try. I shot a prayer for help up to God, and decided to ONLY look at the next place to put my hand or foot on the way up, rather than look all the way up at my overall goal. I decided that if I could accomplish each next footstep or handhold, I would inevitably, finally make it to the top.

And guess what? I did it!

When I was tired (which was constantly) or felt defeated ( again, constantly), I reminded myself, “You have the strength and ability to make just the next step.”

This technique applies to so many areas of life.

So think about your cliff. What is your next step, however small, to make progress. A conversation? A book? Some online research? A phone call? Just do it, then the next step, then the next.

Follow the example of a snail.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we shall reap a harvest, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

September 19, 2011

“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19).

Do you take time to savor what is good in your life? Do you notice things of beauty as you go through your day?

Whether it’s a simple bird on the branch by your window, The sunset as you’re driving on the freeway, Or the smile on your loved one’s face, Take time to treasure and ponder lovely things. This is part of filling your reservoir to overflowing.

Make it a habit each week: choose a day to go on a “beauty hunt,” proactively looking for beauty throughout the day as you go for a walk or drive your car. This spiritual exercise will train you to find and savor the positive as a way of life, and you’ll become a more joyful person.

This month I’ve decided to grow in unselfishness. (Necessary Life Skills, Spiritual Perspectives) December 2011

My husband made an irritating comment? I’ll overlook it and do something nice for him.

That car cut me off? I’ll slow down and pray for the driver. (Instead of speeding up to one inch of his bumper.)

The dessert I made for my Christmas gathering tasted funny? People didn’t finish it on their plates? Instead of obsessing about what they thought of me, I’ll decide to think about how much fun they had, laughing and conversing.

These are my examples…yours might be different. But do you know what I’ve noticed each day as I find at least one experience in which to choose unselfishness? Joy overflowing…within myself! The things that might have caused grief and anxst become reasons to smile.

Is this what Jesus meant when He said: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6: 38

Hmmm…This is so much fun, I think I’ll be unselfish next month too! : D

August 1, 2011

I love the word “weird”: Unusual. Unique. Special. Out–of–the–box.

“Keep Austin Weird.” I’ve seen this slogan everywhere since moving to Austin,Texas three weeks ago. And “weird” does describe this funky, fun, different place. From its vast creative music scene, to its bohemian South Congress area, to the political climate of this capital city, to it arts community, to its multifaceted university… This place is definitely unusual, unique, out-of-the-box.

But aren’t we all? Don’t these words describe each one of us: unusual, unique, special?

I love the way that no two things that God creates are exactly alike. We say this about snowflakes, but isn’t it also true of every human being? We each have our very own appearance, personality, patterns, and strengths. This is cause for great celebration! Of our own uniqueness and everyone else’s!

But isn’t it strange, how we instead compare ourselves, placing ourselves as either inferior or superior to others in tiny and huge ways. Don’ do it! Comparison is the great robber of joy! The opposite, and the antidote for comparison, is celebrating uniqueness. Noticing and savoring our own unique traits and strengths, and doing the same toward others.

So try this today: Mentally take note of one unique positive trait of each person you encounter, and then do the same regarding yourself. One-for-one. Celebrate being uniquely and wonderfully made, as David put it in Psalm 139.

This is just one more way of developing a lifestyle of Philippians 4:8: training your mind to dwell on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy– think about such things.”

This mental lifestyle stimulates endorphins and dopamine in our brain chemistry which translates into greater health inwardly and outwardly.

So rejoice in this fact: You are unique…and so am I!

July 11, 2011

Two ginormous exams. Selling a house. Buying a house. Moving to Colorado. Moving to Texas. Selling a book. Writing a book.

2011 has involved too many varied foci. (Don’t you love that word?)

But finally, I’m sitting on a bench in a lush Colorado park, and life has slowed down slightly. I’m here for 7 weeks helping to lead xTrack, a program preparing Campus Crusade staff to adapt cross-culturally before they disperse in 2 months to nations around the globe.

Sitting here, I have a stack of papers with work to accomplish, calls to make, a to-do list to do.

But the sun feels warm, and the tall trees surrounding me gracefully sway, their leaves shimmering, enticing me, inviting. Shaking off their drug-like effect, I try to force myself to look down at the papers on my lap, willing myself to focus.

But there’s a Voice whispering, the wind swooshing through tall grass, echoing, “Be still. Just be here with Me. Sit in my love.”

A small battle ensues within, but I gradually yield to Love, His voice wooing me to rest, to realize that strong arms are encircling me, to think deeply of being cherished, adored, even liked….by the Creator of the universe.

Why do I fight this experience in my life with busy-ness? Today I rediscover the immense pleasure of sitting for an hour just feeling  Love, exploring and savoring what it means to have a loving Dad who oversees and controls everything in existence and yet enjoys being here with me.

For this moment, I am a child sitting on my Dad’s lap, leaning my head on His chest as He strokes my hair. Safety. Warmth. Affection. Sweetness.

After a while, I’m about to reluctantly leave the bench, but contemplating the fact that I don’t have to leave this reality. The trick is staying here inwardly, while engaging in the visible world. This is the way to health…spiritually, emotionally, physically. “Remaining in Him,” as Jesus put it:

“Remain in Me, as I also remain in you…I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me, and I in you, you will bear much fruit…As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15: 4, 5, 9

June 15, 2011

Clear, bright, pure…the brilliant Colorado skies I’ve seen all summer are calling me to experience something more: clarity, brightness and purity in my body and soul.

But these are not the typical words we would use to describe ourselves. So how do we get there?

Detoxification – a vitally important part of physical, spiritual, and emotional health. We live in an age where toxins abound: in our food, water, media, music, values, relationships, and culture, polluting us without our even knowing it.

So, think about this: what’s one thing you can eliminate from your life to achieve more clarity, brightness, purity, …i.e. JOY! Where do you see toxic elements poisoning you inwardly and outwardly?

Or what do you need to ADD to purify yourself from poison that is pulling you down: a physical detoxification protocol? Fresh, pure water and foods? Counseling that will purify a problematic relationship, adding wholesomeness and health? Well-chosen reading, media, or musical input that will strengthen and fortify your spirit?

Write down one thing you will begin this week….then step into greater joy!

April 1, 2011

This is something I try to do at least once a week, and it not only refuels me, it continually resets the template of my mind toward positivity. Without resetting this template, most of our minds are progressively pulled downward, noticing and dwelling on what is negative.

So how do you do a beauty quest? It takes no extra time out of your day. It simply means, whatever you’re doing, that day you’re going to proactively notice, and savor for a few seconds, things that are beautiful around you.

You’re driving to work? Notice the flowers along the highway, the bright blue sky, the tapping melody of rain falling on the windshield.

You’re in your home? Let your eyes linger and drink in your children’s faces, a favorite photo or piece of art, the way your pet’s fur feels under your fingers.

You’re walking somewhere… Notice the particular details of nature, the way a tree is formed, the bright pattern on a ladybug’s back.

So try this today! Then let it become a habitual pattern in your daily thinking by practicing it on specific days. Wear a rubber band around your wrist or a special piece of jewelry that reminds you to notice beauty on that day… Otherwise it’s easy to get to the end of the day and realize you’ve forgotten to practice this necessary life skill. We usually bustle through our day, never feeding our souls with the beauty around us.

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of lights,

with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:17