“There is a critical secret that you must understand to succeed in your marriage,” write marriage experts Terry Hargrave and Shawn Stoever in their practical book, 5 Days to a New Marriage. And guess what? This secret is important for succeeding and flourishing in other areas of your life as well.

Marriage: A Secret Revealed

The secret? “Healthy people consistently recharge themselves emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.” If your battery is depleted in any of these areas, it’s going to show in your marriage and other aspects of your life.

Marriage: Take This Simple Test and Rate Yourself

        So, how do you know if your battery is subpar? Rate yourself as an individual in each of the following categories on a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 meaning you’re doing great:

            Mentally  – I feed my mind positive messages and images, reading, learning, meditating, having stimulating conversations, focusing my mind on whatever is true, and health–giving.

             Physically  – I eat healthy, exercising daily, sleeping at least eight hours per day, drinking plenty of water, being adventurous, staying aware of my energy levels.

            Spiritually – I talk to God, listening to Him, spending time with spiritually stimulating people, reading for my spiritual enrichment.

            Emotionally – I pay attention to my feelings, having healthy friendships, guarding my heart, having a healthy expression of emotions, fully engaging myself in activities.

      (Based on 5 Days to a New Marriage, Hargrave and Stoever)

      If you find yourself rating below a 7 in the categories above, then is it any wonder you don’t have energy to overflow into your marriage? With inadequate energy to get you through the day, and with all the other demands on your time and schedule, what is left over for your spouse? If your scores are low, how can you expect to have loving interactions with your spouse at the end of a long day? And how can you expect a thriving life in general?

      Marriage: Take Care of Yourself to Take Care of Your Marriage

      Now, look at each of the categories above, and think of one thing you could do that will recharge you in that area. Yes, it’s going to take time and reprioritizing to recharge herself, but isn’t it worth it to improve your marriage and quality of life? Who wants to continue tiredly slugging along when you can revitalize and even flourish?! So write the following sentence on a few stickup notes, put them around your house, and make daily choices to start recharging:

      Healthy people consistently recharge themselves emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Playfulness: How Are You Doing?

Are you having enough fun? When was the last time you had a solid hour of sheer enjoyment? When you were so absorbed in moments of merriment, you forgot about everything else?

The grown-up world is all about getting things done. Mark Buchanan says, “Past a certain age our existence is consumed by obligation. Deadlines loom. Assignments are due. Responsibilities are mountainous. Chores are piling up. There’s a list, always, of things to do … So one of the first things to die in adults is playfulness. We are, as a tribe, a grim bunch …”

With our work, families, and home responsibilities, it’s so easy to go through weeks, months, even years without healthful helpings of playfulness.

And did you know that it’s actually bad for you–physically and emotionally– to eliminate fun and play from your regular routine?

Playfulness: It’s Not Just a Fun Idea

For our bodies and minds to stay healthy and at their best, we thrive on the biochemicals that are released when we are involved in pleasure: endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, oh my!

So for those of you who are goal-driven and productivity-oriented, you can achieve far more when your body is fueled by these biochemicals, released during fun!

But apart from all that, wouldn’t you just enjoy having more playfulness in your life?

So why not make this a priority starting today?

Playfulness: Some Grown-Up Playful Ideas

Kids know how to play without ever being taught. But for grown-ups, this ability can slowly fade into nothingness somewhere along the way. However, once you’ve started tasting it again in significant doses, your natural ability kicks back in. Then it starts overflowing into the goings-on of your daily life. Here are some ideas to jumpstart you:

1. Choose playful ideas for your exercise options: get involved in a sport that’s truly fun for you, add enjoyable outdoors activities to your exercise menu, skate, get involved in dance exercise.

2. Take a fun class: art, photography, music, bowling, kite flying… you get the idea!

3. Play games with people. Cards, board games — I’m talking non-electronic. Utilize “Meet-Up” online or as a phone app to find game-playing groups in your area. Or start one and invite your circles.

4. Dance: around your house when no one’s looking, or out with your spouse or friends. It’s a known dopamine – booster.

5. If you have a pet, play with him more often: in the house, out on walks, even swimming!

6. Take an improv class! The theme and goal of these classes is playfulness! And yes, this is my own personal choice. Super  fun!

7. Click on the following links to give you more ideas: fun, more fun, even more fun!

Playfulness: Famous Words

And as you’re incorporating more playfulness into your life, remember the motto of my Australian friend, a contagiously happy person:

Too much fun is just barely enough!

Ah Spring!  The time of new beginnings, more daylight, more activity, more shorts and swimsuits to fit into…and more exercise!

Yes, we exercise for many reasons. But the motivation that keeps me most consistent is the way exercise energizes me and makes me healthy. Of course, I have the taskmaster of my fibromyalgia that has cracked its whip, making me exercise–otherwise, I get stiff and sore. But I can honestly tell you, along with many others, that once I got into the habit of exercising, I love doing it. I can’t NOT do it!

Exercise: My Favorite Quotes

So wherever you are on the spectrum of loving exercise, hating it, or indifferent towards it… Here are a few of my favorite quotes that propel me to exercise…

 Dr. Dave Frahm: The human body is a machine that requires use to get and remain strong. If you’re not getting stronger, you’re getting weaker. A day without exercise is a day in decline.

 Plato: Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.

 Earl of Derby: Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness.

 The National Institute on Aging: If exercise could be packed into a pill, it would be the single most widely prescribed and beneficial medicine in the nation.

 Thomas Jefferson: Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.

Exercise: If I Do It, Anyone Can

Wherever you are on your exercise spectrum, you can start small and build. Remember, when I was in a wheelchair 10 years ago, I started with a few steps a day in the house and built up to 45-60 minutes of walking for exercise daily. If I did it, when I was so depressed and hopeless, anyone can. And did you know that exercise acts as an antidepressant?

If you’re still doubting, let’s finish with this quote from Dr. Tian Dayton in the Huffington Post:

The science behind just how and why exercise can help to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression has been a much studied topic over     the last two decades…Regular exercise has been proven to help us:

- Reduce stress

- Ward off anxiety and feelings of depression

- Boost self-esteem

- Improve sleep

Exercise also:

- Strengthens the heart.

- Lowers blood pressure.

- Improves muscle tone and strength.

- Strengthens and builds bones.

- Reduces body fat.

- Increases energy levels.

- Helps with over all fitness.

All I can say to that, Dr. Dayton, is, “Yes, please!”

It’s been a few weeks since the big hoax was revealed: Manti Te’o's girlfriend — the one who died within hours of his grandmother’s death, one who Te’o spoke of repeatedly, the one whose story became part of his Heisman campaign–never existed. This successful young college football player was apparently completely deceived over a significant period of time. We think: “That could never happened to me.” But the truth is, we are all susceptible to being duped. From the most intelligent to the least, we see examples of this in practical, emotional, and spiritual ways. There was a time when no one believed in germs and people laughed when someone suggested that the earth was round. Very intelligent, successful people have been tricked out of thousands of dollars by successful deceivers. So how can we prevent being victims in matters of money, relationships, beliefs, and more?

Manti Te’o: Let His Mistake Propel You to Use 5 Tips …

1. Pay attention to that little inner voice telling you something is wrong. Many people who are tricked say that, at first, they had doubts they didn’t listen to. There was an inner uneasiness, a feeling that something wasn’t quite right. When you feel bad about a person, situation, idea, or event — don’t ignore it. Investigate it further with your logical mind, and…

2. Get by “with a little help from your friends.” When you’re not sure of something, ask trusted people their opinions. Don’t simply ask people who will agree with you. One time, I came close to signing a book contract with an agent that seemed sketchy. I e-mailed a well-known, trustworthy, editor, whom I didn’t even know. She kindly replied with her inside knowledge about this person, discouraging me to sign with him. I’m so glad I listened to my inner voice and ask for help! “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory.” (Proverbs 11:14)

3. The Internet: be on your guard! Many modern-day scams are perpetrated through the Internet. People buy items that they later find out don’t exist. People enter relationships with people who are actually very different than what they seem. People give money to seemingly trustworthy causes, only to find out they were duped. Check things out thoroughly.

4. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Enough said.

5. Don’t be overly confident, saying, “It couldn’t happen to me.” Deception happens to intelligent, competent people. Use points 1 and 2 above when in doubt. Also utilize trustworthy resources, from the Better Business Bureau to the Bible. Find experts in the field of your questioning and utilize their wisdom.

Manti Te’o: How Good Can Come from Bad

One way Manti’s difficulty can result in good is if others learn from his mistake. Failure is an opportunity to do something different the next time, for him as well as us. And don’t be self-deceived…deception can happen to even you. “Be wise as serpents, innocent as doves.” What tips have you learned to avoid being deceived?

Disappointment: An Opportunity to Learn

There are no mistakes in life, only opportunities to learn a new lesson.

Okay, so test that statement with me right now. Think of something from today or some time recently when you made a mistake or something felt bad in your life.

Maybe your spouse said something that made you mad.

Maybe you got in a fender bender.

Maybe you arrived somewhere embarrassingly late.

So what did you learn from that? Was there something you could have done that would prevent that in the future? Or in the case of your spouse, is it time to do some reading or counseling to improve matters?

These are the types of lessons we can learn in order for things to go better in the future.

As someone once said, failure is an opportunity to do something different next time.

Opportunities to Learn: Yes, I’ve Had Many of Them!

For example, recently a friend of mine was acting like she was irritated with me, and I knew I needed to ask if there was something wrong. But when I asked her, she became aloof and cold, insisting there was nothing. I tried to be a safe person to her, but nothing I said would get her to talk. As I thought about it later, I wondered if it was a mistake to bring it up. Lesson learned? Maybe she’s not going to be able to be a close friend, and I need to direct my energy and expectations in other places. Or if I decide to keep cultivating our friendship, I learned I need to allow more time and interaction to figure out how it can work on a deeper level.

Or there’s the time I posted something on Facebook and had no idea that it would offend someone I care about. Lesson learned? When I post something, I am now more aware of possible consequences… I think about my “audience.”

So use failure as a springboard to success. Direct your energy toward future improvement rather than wallowing in regret.

Opportunities To Learn: Look for Them

There are so many potential opportunities for learning through error! (Aren’t you excited?) You’ll find them in your job, relationships, health, activities and events. All of these have wonderful opportunities for learning through mistakes!  The biggest requirement necessary on our part is a teachable, honest attitude in evaluating ourselves and what we have contributed toward the problem. Because we usually have contributed something.

This is HUGE in experiencing the reality that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) The “good” often includes a lesson that will help us with what comes along next in life.